Cats Control The Internet

Cat aggressively typing on a laptop

While humans argue about data privacy, cats have already downloaded every embarrassing search you have ever typed at 3 AM. They own the internet. We are basically just their wifi providers. Every keystroke we make travels through a secret cat server farm located inside a suspiciously warm cardboard box.

And yes, they know your passwords. All of them. Even the ones you swear are very unique because they contain your birth month and two exclamation points. They invented cookies, tracking pixels and probably autocorrect. The entire digital universe is actually just one giant laser pointer and we are all chasing the red dot.

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